


we are the ones who don't slow down at all

by MiniNephthys



Category: Saint Oniisan | Saint Young Men
Genre: F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Prostitution, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-10 09:58:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNephthys/pseuds/MiniNephthys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we are the ones who don't slow down at all

Judas loses his virginity to a woman in a Kabukicho love hotel with a strap-on.

The strap-on is his, purchased for the occasion. He slips out of the apartment he shares with Peter and Andrew on claims of going to the library, and they make no move to stop him or ask about his bag.

The hotel's not far away and he finds his reserved room quickly. Outside the door, he stops and takes a deep breath. It's fine, it's hardly worse than everything else he's done. It's a drop in a sea of sin. He opens the door.

A beautiful woman awaits him, as negotiated. She smiles politely. "Judas-san, is it?"

"Y-yes." He hadn't thought to use a fake name. "If it wouldn't be any trouble to you, I should probably make one more request before we start- I can go if it bothers you too much." He fumbles with his bag before managing to open it and withdraw the contents.

She picks up the strap-on and studies it, her elegantly painted nails clashing against its garish pink color. "Judas-san, you know that delivery health offers male specialists as well?"

"Leviticus eighteen." The response is automatic. "I can't."

He wants to. And he can't be condemned for wanting to. But act upon it, or even speak of it to the other disciples? Detestable.

The call girl nods sympathetically, setting down the tool for now. "I can work with this." She rises from the bed and pulls him close to her.

Her lips are soft against his, warm and gentle. When Judas tenses at the touch, she rubs small circles on his back until his muscles relax. It may just be practical, but it feels like kindness to him.

He's wearing less than he usually does in preparation, no jacket or tie today. Thus he doesn't take long to undress. Her hands on him should be more calloused from work outdoors, with shorter nails, but he can't hold that against her. There are only so many things one can approximate and years of fishing are not part of them.

The lubricant she spreads on her fingers is water-based, not oil, never oil, he doesn't like to even think about oil these days. It's awkward and uncomfortable inside of him, but it does its job, and he doesn't feel as nervous as perhaps he should when she straps herself in, still wearing her shirt.

"Gently..." he rasps, turning himself away.

The push that follows is slow but never stops completely until he can feel her hips against him. "Are you all right?" she asks.

He's had more pain before. A little discomfort is something he can't complain over. "Yes. Please, again." When she pulls out and pushes her way back in, the discomfort isn't as bad, and he relaxes a little more. "Again."

He doesn't have to tell her another time, as she sets up a rhythm that approaches pleasurable and, mercifully, is quiet. She has a lovely voice but it doesn't sound anything Andrew's rough tones, and he wonders when he started picturing her as his fellow disciple. But, Andrew might be like this, unsure at first but picking up in intensity. He might kiss the back of Judas's neck as he started to shudder, or hold him when he reached a spot that made pleasure flood him each time it was rubbed against.

If it were Andrew, though, he could give him pleasure back, instead of simply taking it until he was done in an unsatisfying finish and then watching the call girl pull out of him.

"Should I...?" Judas asks, holding his clothes against him. "I don't know how to do much, but I can-"

"It isn't necessary, Judas-san." She pulls her skirt back on and helps him redress. When he's done, she pats him on the shoulder. "I hope you've enjoyed yourself."

He smiles sadly and shakes his head, picking up his bag. "Not for your lack of trying. I hope you aren't offended, it's my fault... I should have known what I was looking for wasn't here."

Judas doesn't stay to hear her answer. He hurries back to the apartment, apologizing to Andrew and to Peter and to God in his mind the entire way home.


End file.
